It’s a strange phenomenon when you get to the end of the evening and know that you’d done a lot in the course of the day, but for the life of you, if someone asked what, you’d be hard pressed to give an answer. I’m sure a big chunk of it was spent taking care of the birds and their babies, taking the dogs out and walking them around, and working on my social media presence.

Well, that last one I’m sure took up most of the day. What annoys me is I should’ve gotten a lot of cleaning done, but I was more sore than I thought after yesterday’s work. And I realized that I’m in the middle of some substantial brain fog. I should’ve realized the signs were coming sooner, because for some reason, all the past week I’ve been craving carbs. Simple carbs, that is. Mac and cheese and peanut butter and honey sandwiches. For some reason, those are all I’ve wanted most of the week. Very strange, and not desired at all. They’ve killed my energy and my drive… and actually, I’m sure they’ve messed with my ability to think.

Granted, I’m often a creature of my emotions, far more than I’d have imagined in the past, I’m sure. This week has just been a doozy on the emotions, but my stress and laziness all around haven’t improved things. Add in constant carbs, crap sleep, no exercise and there’s a recipe for disaster. I’m really mad at myself because I didn’t fill out a single job application today, though I’d had them waiting for me to work on them. Somehow I kept putting them off, or something would come up before I’d grab the tab and read carefully.

Now that I think about it, the phone was ringing more than usual, mostly those telemarketer calls but a couple from neighbors. I did myself a disservice, anyway, and should’ve done more. My diet took a bad hit this week, but I’m starting fresh tomorrow. I’m going to sketch out a must-do’s list (not specific times, but things that still have to be done before a work day interrupts) and check those things off. The first thing to go will be the stress/depression eating triggers I put in my cabinet. Thankfully, there’s very little left, and I either need to have it in complete moderation, or put it somewhere that I’ll forget about it til a babysitting gig comes up and then I have snacks or quickie meals.

I just can’t believe that when I needed to push myself and do better the most… my willpower was down to nearly nothing. I got some small things done that could’ve waited, but not many of the huge things. At least I know that now, and have written down what to do about it, so I’ll sleep on it and start fresh in the morning. I’ve not been able to get myself up when I should in the morning, and I’m determined to do that before July 1st, when I hope to have some new skills and a more organized office at my disposal (and a better workout routine). Sleep has somehow suffered immensely the past few weeks, and I’m trying to make myself get up at regular times. Maybe the squirrels are just too active, because something wakes me up out there several times and then I end up switching off my alarm hours before it’ll go off (job’s always in the afternoon, so no danger of oversleeping). What stinks is I know I do so much better first thing in the morning, getting things done and having tons of energy. Can’t really do that when I’m sleeping half of it away.

So, that’s this week’s priority–get my wake-up time back and hopefully by Friday morning, I’ll be able to get up at 5am without a problem. I know, crazy early, but I’ve learned I do much better with my exercise and eating when I get working out done and over with first thing. It also helps clear my head, which helps my studying. I just need to cut back on the coffee a bit (I’m sure too much of that’s been a big part of it, part of the carb or sugar cravings and all), drink more water, and go to bed with a book or something.

Well, about time for me to do that right now, actually. Time to take me own advice and skedaddle.