Granted, that’s probably NOT the best way to phrase that, but I haven’t been able to think of a better one the past few days. Brain fog is not terribly fun when you have a ton of stuff to do, but dizzy spells have been knocking you for a loop for a week.

(le sigh)

Anyhoo, this is something I was thinking about even before the brain fog set in around Sunday night. I’d had some minor schedule changes the past few weeks and realized that my initial lovely, color-coded chart of things to do broken down by the half-hour was… well… craptastic.

I have a tendency toward perfectionism in planning before I actually get things done (I’m sure readers of the past few years are waiting to take a shot as I say the words “to-do list”… There’s your freebie; you’re welcome.). I have an all-or-nothing mentality that makes it hard to adjust to needed changes without getting impatient and frustrated. It’s crippled me and made me second-, third-, and often fourth-guess my decisions even before I’ve done anything that’s really needed.

I figured I’d better leave some things up to chance. More specifically, build some big blocks of time into the weekend to play catch-up in case things don’t go well during the week, or to (le gasp) relax for once and de-stress.

These are those “failure days” I was talking about at the start. I’m hoping to start my fresh new schedule on Monday and see how it goes. I’m glad I didn’t go for this week, because it would’ve failed in a matter of hours. I have too many interests, and need to be realistic as far as what I can accomplish. Fridays are probably my least-scheduled days right now, which is a good thing because I’ve got one thing I have to do that day outside the house, but plenty of time to work around it and do things like shopping, appointments, etc. Saturday and Sunday are days where I’m hoping I don’t have to leave the house (only for work if called in–fingers crossed) because everybody and their mother is out shopping on those days and I’d rather avoid the roads.

This week has shown me a few ways I need to improve my schedule and make some wiggle room, especially for snacks and meal times. I’m at a point where I pretty much have to MAKE myself eat (good for dieting, bad for planning and avoiding cravings). Thankfully, I’m starting to slowly add more smaller meals or snacks to make this work, and I hope I can keep it up. And since I’m considering the weekend my “outside work” days, it makes sense to have those as a free-for-all, as long as I keep track of my mealtimes and other chores. That’ll also save me some serious time because I won’t have to make seasonal to-do lists (another shot) to take advantage of the most comfortable weather to work outside in.

My wallet will thank me big time if I can avoid fast food and restaurants, and so will my schedule, coincidentally enough.

I’ve got a few days more to play with it, and I’m happy to give it my best. I’m actually excited at the possibilities I’m leaving for myself instead of dreading forgetting some half-hour that I’m not taking advantage of. When I have my “blah” days, I’ve gotta work with ’em and around ’em. Kinda like Dune’s “fear litany”, only I must face my “blah” MORE than my fear.

Sounds stupid, but it just might work. Hmm… another idea.

My brain fog produces uber weirdness at times. Another cup of tea needed.