I was trying to figure out what’s been wrong with me the past several days. Migraine here, nausea there, another crazy headache right now as I type this (mostly with my eyes closed to give my pain a break). My days haven’t let me get much done because of it, and I’ve been annoyed.

Things have worked rather well earlier today. I actually got some small chores done and began a major cleanup. I felt like there was some eye issue I’d been having and got out my computer glasses, but even now they’re not helping at all with eye pain, so it’s something else.

It occurred to me that the worries I’ve had about my job, my income, my property tax issue (that I have to call on this week because it’s almost been a year that this mix-up has gone on with no resolution), and knowing my aging car needs maintenance and an oil change this week… yeah, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m stressed. And shouldn’t be surprised that the stress is manifesting itself as physical symptoms, trying to force me to relax.

Last week’s migraine should’ve clued me in sooner, but the fact that it’s ebbed and flowed while I’ve done so little–til this morning–is just crazy. I figured I was finally doing something productive, then all the pain rushed in.

I hate this, because then I’m pretty much guaranteed to be totally NOT productive at all if this is allowed to happen. I can’t take days off of work every week because then I’m totally unreliable, and that sucks for sure. I’m not 100% with the job, but it does have it’s good days and they’re cool with me there. I want to be dependable–not a doormat, but dependable–and that’s hard if I’m calling out all the time.

So, time to de-stress, but I wonder about the symptoms, and if they really can go away and stay that way. Mine seem to linger in the background, like they’re waiting for their turn to play. It’s often the trinity of major headache, dizziness, and lethargy. I had so many hopes to get some stuff done, but nope–laid low by the anxious thoughts in my head pushing physical symptoms.

I did find a wikihow page with some info to help, at least at the start. I just wonder if there’s a good way to banish psychosomatic issues, or figure out how to minimize ’em. Not that I wanna trade to some other symptom type that might be harder to handle, but understanding why they show up–even when I think I’m calm and generally okay– might help me get rid of them entirely.

I just wonder if I gotta find that zen state and stay there, and that’s the only way to do it right. Trying and failing to start (mentally) has been hard enough as it is. Only gets harder when you’ve got some painful or paralyzing symptoms popping up wen you think you were ready to go and get things done.

Maybe it’s a day at a time. No deus ex machina crap to suddenly take it all away or make it work out for ya.

Just stinks to suddenly realize your mind has gone off the deep end emotionally when the symptoms crop up. Gotta be a better way to figure it out before it gets worse.

Definitely need more research… in the morning. Half asleep while in blinding pain and trying to calm down so I can take something to kill this vicious headache verging on migraine.

So, you ever get psychosomatic symptoms and figure out how to get past them or make them go away after a while dealing iwth the issue hat brought ’em forward in the first place?

Floor’s yours.

I’m going to try and sleep this off now.