It hit me out of the blue, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’d brought up my sticky notes app on my desktop earlier to pass on some info to a friend, and saw some other sticky notes I’d forgotten about. 3 had aborted attempts at a daily schedule, with rainy day vs. shiny day weekend and the like (because when you’re itching to do yardwork or gardening, but it’s pouring rain all of a sudden, you better have a plan B).

And no matter what I’ve tried to do regarding scheduling, I’d leave something out and have to start over again.

If “practice makes perfect” is absolutely true, then I am screwed.

Because I have FAR too many interests and have no clue how to reasonably try and achieve all that I want to do in the limited amount of time in each day.

So, in essence, my desire to create a to-do list and schedule has been a futile exercise that had spawned far more clever procrastination attempts than achieved mini-goals.

There are some things that require being done, especially if I am hoping to make a living doing them. Writing is the big one. Kinda hard to find writing gigs and submit anything worthwhile if you don’t actually…um… write.

But I thought about it a LOT. That counts, right?

Uh, not in this universe. You gotta actually produce something, from what I can tell.

So I wanna make a living writing. And should spend a good chunk of my time finding work online or doing research and/or writing and editing.

So, that’s at least 3-4 hours a day… to start.

I feel ya, man… this is gonna get rough…

But then, I want to get back into learning how to play piano and guitar (among other things). And those skills have crashed and burned the past several months. I’m probably back to absolute newbie (and need to develop some wicked calluses again). So, that’s something I’d have to do at least an hour a day (30 mins for both to start), and will take more time later.

And then there’s all the Masterclasses I’ve wanted to explore and learn from. Some I’ve stopped and started multiple times because I couldn’t stick with it… thank you crappy schedule. So, if I do a class or two (and factor in the recommended prepwork), that’s half an hour to an hour right there.

And then there’s cooking, or learning how to cook several meals. That’s a few hours in the kitchen, especially when you count cleaning the dishes afterward (shudder).

I need time to read a book once in a while. An hour at least.

Time to blog, and research for blogging. Another 1 or 2 hours.

Time to take care of the animals: feeding, walking, cleaning cages and tanks, etc. Tank days will take probably 2 hours minimum.

Time to go to the shed and exercise, because heaven knows I need it. There’s another hour and change.

Time to mow the grass, take care of the garden, work on planting seeds and checking on seedlings. Obviously not a daily thing for mowing and weed-eating, but will take a sizeable chunk out of the day it happens, and an hour or two for the other stuff.

Time to eat.

Time to commute when I have my little job outside the house a few days a week (and time for the job, grocery shopping, therapist, etc.)

Time to do laundry and fold it all. Time to clean.

Oh heavens. Time to clean… which the way this place looks is gonna take LOTS of time this week. I keep thinking I’ll get it done, and then I get frustrated and barely do anything.

I look at the schedule and it’s a total mess, and I can’t figure out what to do and when without underestimating how much I can actually get done in a day and without neglecting down time.

I’m sure there are some things I’ll just have to factor in and do them every other day, and be prepared for changes along the way. Why this didn’t hit me sooner just kills me.

But at least the issue came up. Maybe in my dreams the best solution will come up, something that leaves me wiggle room and something I can deal with and not get super frustrated. I’ll have to think on it in my sleep a bit, but now that this–admittedly demoralizing–revelation came to me, that pressure valve has loosened and it won’t keep me up all night. I hope I come up with some good ideas that make a useful schedule possible.

Because that’s been my biggest problem for most of my life: I have FAR too many things I’m interested in doing, and damn near no time to do many (if any) of them. Time to make some choices that will let me actually excel instead of just get a bit of knowledge with nothing produced to show for it.