My excitement over getting a new self-sustaining chapter in my life has started developing a bitter taste the past few weeks, and it’s only getting worse. Don’t get me wrong, I like the solar company I’m working with and they are doing what they can to help me out.

It’s the financing company we both have to work with that’s making me want to shave my head again before I rip every strand out and start screaming.

Financial companies are the worst things ever. I get that they need to cover their ass and make sure everything is on the up and up, but at the same time, when you’ve got pictures and every other conceivable document possible indicating that what you want is RIGHT THERE… wouldn’t it make sense to accept it? When your own eyes (and many other eyes) and photos can see what you need to know, and it’s been verified by people who were there to ensure things went right?

But no–they need it broken down into crayon with a piece of official documentation (if they won’t accept a letter from the county, which I’m gonna have to beg for to verify the two little things they need verified) that will cost me weeks and around $500 to get taken care of. After I just spent $500 on a septic inspection that may or may not have been needed (though there is peace of mind in knowing there’s no plumbing problems that were about to rear their ugly faces, so I’m accepting that).

I can’t go into particulars because every day something is getting more unraveled, it seems. The big thing is they apparently want an appraisal document that I never got, because that document is generally done by banks or real estate appraisers helping a seller. I did a trade-in and bought my house cash. No bank was involved, hence no 8 page appraisal document.

But despite the tons of other info I have, there are two little questions they have to have answered on an official form. Even though every other document I could scrape together says (and shows) exactly what they need to have answered… nope, they’re requiring that document, and don’t seem to understand that I never got one in the first place. I got a county appraisal, but it doesn’t go as into depth as what they’re asking for, and I am pissed off that it means I might have to fork over money for a private one, just for fucking paperwork. This guy I talked to about maybe getting it done was nice enough, but it would be three weeks at the earliest to get it done, and before anything, he wants me to get in touch with them and be absolutely sure what it is we need to have down that they will accept so it doesn’t waste our time and cost me more money in the long run. I’m totally on board with that, because I feel enough time’s been wasted (and phone calls, and favors asked) that I damn near lost my cool completely on the poor customer service person at the finance company.

Hell, I did a little bit and just apologized, cracked a lame joke so I wouldn’t start crying in frustration, and hung up quick as I could. I hate having to make calls on Fridays, because it takes days to get anywhere, and you can’t do anything til Monday.

I supposedly have certain people that are in charge of my case, per se, but I can’t reach them personally to talk with them. I keep getting the same customer service people who can’t give me specifics as to my situation because they’re not in the know that far up the ladder. They can only give me the same basic info regardless of circumstances. And when I can’t reach the official person, that raises my hackles something fierce. This isn’t the stereotypical “let me speak to your manager” thing. This is the “hey, this person is listed on my case (or at least it says so in e-mails that are being CC’d to me), so can I chat with them and get a good firm answer because they know my situation?”

I hate wasting other people’s time. And now they can’t seem to find evidence that I have a title on my house.

Of course, it’s a “manufactured home,” so that’s the big problem paperwork-wise, it seems. All the damned bureaucracy involved is maddening. I’m hoping next week is better with this, because if they say there’s some other problem because my house is a “manufactured home,” it’s gonna take a lot out of me not to blurt out “just go ahead and say my house isn’t good enough for solar panels because I’m pretentious and according to the bank, a step away from ‘trailer trash’!”

It’s frustrating enough I’m tempted to call the whole thing off and just not bother. Goodbye, solar. Was a nice dream while it lasted.

I just can’t understand why common sense can’t rule in situations like this, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I mean, I’ve had surveyors come over to my house from the solar company, taking pictures and checking on the roof. I’m sure if they had to write a report, they’d have noted if I still had fucking wheels and a hitch attached to my house, or if my meter wasn’t working (considering they had to check all my breaker boxes both times, and all my lights were clearly on), right?

There are a dozen people telling them what they need to know. But if it’s not on a specific, very expensive piece of bureaucratic butchery… yeah.

I’m gonna be stress cleaning tomorrow all day. And if I’m smart, I’ll be filling the base of my MMA kickstand with water tomorrow and whaling away on the padding most of next week so I don’t blow up on the phone in frustration. Glad I dug out my box of kickboxing gear from the back of my closet and started to organize it this morning. I’ll definitely be using it again.