Pic from MAD Magazine (definitely fitting).
If a human hand put this together, 2020 might just be a fusion disaster movie/ political (thriller?) screenplay that’s been rejected 30 times for being too long, too outlandish, too boring, too stupid to exist.
Something even Roland Emmerich or Michael Bay would roll their eyes and pass up because the body count, the destructive reach and melodrama are too unrealistic.
A screenplay that the folks who wrote and directed those awful 2000s “spoof” movies would pass on as being too farfetched and gross for them.
Except, the year 2020 and it’s events are part of human record, and we’re all going quite mad from it.
I’d been feeling lousy for days and only looking at the news in fits and starts thanks to Dump’s drug-induced paranoia and delusions of grandeur (more than usual) and I couldn’t handle a fifth, sixth, seventh report about what the hell he said in the past 15 minutes. I have written nothing and barely responded to some folks who I saw in the feeds because of it.
And as much as I’ve been trying to flex my fiction-writing muscles again, I’ve been having the hardest time I can remember. Why? Because what’s going on in the world every minute is far stranger than anything I could write! As soon as I think of an idea, that maybe something’s there I could flesh out, the news comes on and the Sub-par Annoying Orange (showing my age here) has done or said something else.
I really wish I hadn’t found that meme now. My sincere apologies for your nightmares tonight. I’ll be having plenty of my own now, if it makes you feel better.
So, ideas are just gonna have to go in my notebook for use later, because otherwise it feels like plagiarism in a strange way. I can’t really explain it, it just feels like anything I would write in that regard (at least with all this going on) would be weak and old very quickly. Curses to the speed of rumor, hearsay, innuendo, and those tiny Twitter thumbs from the SpAO that won’t stop!
I want to find the guy who coined the phrase “truth is stranger than fiction” and give him a vicious wedgie. He jinxed it for me.
This year is just a mish-mash of wrongs all around, a badly written crossover movie with a lead political character that could be the lovechild of a used car salesman and Beavis or Butthead. The writer of this one threw in the kitchen sink to hope for a hit, a crisis to get through to for the unpopular political character to save the day.
But what crisis could be used in the script? Civil unrest? A pandemic? A economic depression? An election year? Overcoming Racism? Shady political dealings?
“Oh, hell–why not use ’em all?!” our sadistic writer says.
Of course, it doesn’t help that the writer can’t do dialogue worth a shit, and leaves it up to the lead actor playing the country’s leader to do it. Too bad the actor doesn’t read or listen to anybody but suckups who say how amazing he is and live to fix his makeup and hair. The writer insisted on a diva that doesn’t think before he speaks or gestures and won’t take direction.
All he’d have to do is practice saying his lines intelligently (or have him make notes with Sharpie markers, fielder’s choice). Better yet, he could just not talk when in scenes with the token, exposition-machines that know more about the situations which are central to the mish-mash of plots. Let them explain things.
But nope, lead male actor has a stipulation that only his lines matter and everybody else just has to deal with it. Never mind that there’s a large supporting cast that should have plenty to do, but they’ll never gonna end up on the screen with this actor or given credit.
Yeah, the writer of this piece-of-shit year is a real sadist.
It’s no wonder I’ve been watching the John Wick movies on repeat most of the past weekend to get away from 2020 for a bit. At least the violence, rules, morality and action have some semblance of a purpose in that universe. Hell, feels more real than this dumpster fire, actually.
2020 is a badly written and overly-complicated political/disaster sequel compared to even such exhausting duds as 2019, 2018, 2017…
Can we please toss this script in the “bad ideas” file and begin drafting a better one for 2021? Vote, folks. And don’t stop there, because that’s only a piece of the battle. Be heard, be well, and let’s get out of this crappy disaster movie.
I feel for Alex at IHE. Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Disaster Movie reviews at one time? Ugh… these piece of crap movies actually make more sense than 2020 does. What the hell is the world coming to?
So, how would you describe 2020: The Year?