Q #145: How & when is it best to stop being “understanding” & just do what you must, regardless how it will affect others?

Yeah, it’s about work. I turned in my two-weeks notice three weeks ago now and I’m still showing up to work. Granted, there’s the vetting issue for new hires that gets dragged out by regional, and I know they’re hiring more folks soon (or desperately trying to). And last week one of the ladies had a death in the family and nobody was around to cover but me and someone I’ll call Ms. T., so we split her shifts.

And I was enjoying the less stress that came from having fewer shifts and close customer interaction. Shoulda known it would only last a week.

At first, the lady who went to the funeral was debating whether or not to leave, too, because she had another work opportunity and that would minimize her hours. They gave her some compensation and sweet talked her into keeping her schedule more open for them. Well, apparently I heard Thursday that she’s gonna take that other opportunity, so her schedule’s gonna be reduced and me and Ms. T. are gonna have to pick up the slack until training gets going.

Uh, yeah.

The trouble is, I am not freaking sticking around forever, not the way the owner (who has never done my job a day in his life) and the regional management keep tightening the screws.

First we couldn’t put signs up to help stem the tide of folks and improve the social distancing aspect, because too much signage looks bad.

Then we couldn’t play music to make the job more bearable, or have music playlists on YouTube or anything.

Then we couldn’t tell folks we were double booked for background checks (even when we were in half the spots) if they complained about the service and how long things were taking and why so-and-so went first when it was their appointment time, so they’re next.

And for this coming week they took away the lunch period in between shifts, which is a fantastic thing to have because if there was a technical issue (like internet loss for several hours, which happened Thursday), then we have some built in time to play catch-up or inform the next shift what’s going on.

They had other options, and staff from other centers that don’t have our boss are shocked at the amount of people we see each day. One of them was a trainer, and totally overwhelmed by the number of people that were coming in. We’ve gotten used to it, but now they’re tightening the screws again.

I was talking to Ms T., during the last lunch break we’ll probably ever have again (she was leaving shift and waiting for hubby to show, I was eating lunch before going on). It turns out she’s been feeling the strain, too, and she’s pretty pissed off about the situation. She has a kid at home and they only have one vehicle because an accident totaled the other one. When she can’t work, she can’t work and no bribery or arguing is gonna change it, because her husband makes far more and his job is prioritized.

Totally understandable.

I mentioned that I turned in my two weeks notice three weeks ago and was sticking around to help out until we could get someone vetted and done with,

Ms. T. was wondering why the hell I didn’t just leave, and I tried to explain the situation with her. But I heard during the boss’ interview screenings over the phone that vetting can take up to 30 or 45 days. The end of this week coming up will be a month, and I don’t want to be there any longer than that. More than that, with all this crap going on with our co-workers and their availability, I didn’t want Ms. T. to be stuck with all these shifts she might not be able to do.

She told me not to worry about that, that because of her kid and hubby, she can’t do double shifts anymore ever and will flat out refuse to. If they don’t like it, tough. They’ll just have to light some fires and get someone else working or she’ll walk off the job.

Bye Felicia GIFs | Tenor

She’s got balls, let’s just put it out there.

Wish I could do that, but it’s that ingrained “take care of others” crap I can’t slough off.

I told her that I planned to tell them Monday (they’re supposed to be interviewing some people, anyway) and let them know that Friday’s just gotta be my last day, that I can’t keep stretching and doing this anymore. The point was a slow transition out, but they got me reared up and working full throttle.

Since I had to buy a new computer and spend a chunk I didn’t plan on this week, another large paycheck definitely won’t hurt my account. BUT, it’s the mental aspect. I need to break free of the job because I’ve postponed so many things already to help them (and need that two weeks of de-stressing and gentle job searching first).

So, that’s the quandary: I helped with one new hire’s background check, but I dunno how much farther they have to go with the rest of the paperwork (which regional keeps losing every time they get a prospective employee).

Seriously, it’s being PDF’d and e-mailed, has been sent the same way for years, so why does each person’s stuff gotta get sent in two or three extra times, wasting time. And they complain that some centers are understaffed and can’t do the job–gah.

I already feel the niggling in the back of my mind, the tense words saying “you’re gonna put people in a helluva spot.”

Well, I AM in a helluva spot, getting headaches every day, twitchy and more anxious the longer this period of work goes on. I want to start something new, but I willingly delayed things out of being “understanding” for a date that is yet to be determined.

Is it a good idea to lay down the law and say that this is my last week and that I can’t do it anymore, so they’re just gonna have to hire and do the vetting as fast as they can, or else get someone from another location to come in and help out a week or two?

I know some folks would be shaking their heads that I’m leaving a job while so many others want or need one, but I’ve been here four years and it’s a dead-end job and a half. It used to have it’s good moments, but management has been tightening the screws and taking all the stuff that made it bearable away.

So, with all that’s going on, knowing I’m gonna put them in a bind, is it still a good idea to stop being so understanding and just tell them I gotta move on at the end of the week?

I’d love a final date, so I can re-arrange my plans and play catch-up with self-education opportunities I’m trying to work on this weekend.

And I gotta make sure to get my coffee pot and coffee back before then.

Anybody been in the same boat, or learned how to avoid it in the first place? I’m sure there’s a more tactful way to do it than I’m thinking of, but I’m so tired I’m out of ideas. Or perhaps, a lack of tact and just making them face the facts might be better?

Life Coach: Cordelia Chase, The Friend We All Need ...

Floor’s yours…

2 thoughts on “Q #145: How & when is it best to stop being “understanding” & just do what you must, regardless how it will affect others?

  1. A.S. Akkalon says:

    Wow, these people are really messing you around. I’m all for helping out when I can, but your employer sounds terrible and I think as long as they can keep taking advantage of you they will. You quit for a number of very good reasons. When you get to the point continuing to help is affecting your physical or mental health, as it sounds like it is, it’s time to put your foot down. You gave reasonable notice. After Friday, you no longer work for them. You owe this to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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