I think this is the first election in my life where I’ll be cheering like mad or screaming in upset and anger while reaching for a bottle to get drunk as fast as humanly possible.
And I’ve never been tipsy, let alone drunk.
I can partially blame my general health. I’m in that point my iron levels are at my lowest naturally and have had a lousy time remembering to take my supplements. I did this morning, thankfully, and need to start making post-it notes again to remind me. So, that might be part of my problem.
Sleeplessness has been hitting hard. I figured maybe it was leftover anxiety from finally quitting my job and starting to close that chapter of my life story and move on to another. But when I was so determined to quiet my mind and ended up staying up til 4:30 a.m. this morning to work on a jigsaw puzzle because of the occasional stabbing pain in my side…well, let’s just say I got really concerned.
No, I’ve got major anxiety due to this election. I’m trying to play catch up and be informed, but now I’m hitting that fine line where I’m going to over-stress myself and start getting migraines or ulcers because of all the scenarios playing out in my head.
My overactive imagination is a pain at times like this. Combine that with sleeplessness due to my imagination and trying to reason things out, and you have a good recipe for paranoia or burgeoning hysteria.
I think this election (and the reactions of people around me) have really made me either lean to the worst-case scenarios or try to rationalize what I’m obsessing on at the moment.
I guess what I need to do is learn to limit what my exposure is. I should be sleeping right now, but I can’t seem to get it through my head and calm down enough yet.
Fiction tonight may help, at least a few chapters. It seems jigsaw puzzles are far too stimulating right now when I should be tired enough to slip off into dreamland.
But more than that, perhaps I should limit my exposure to political and current events. It’s just hard to do right now because every time I turn around, another terrible thing is happening and I’m just screaming inside, wanting to try and do something about it. And wondering if I had the courage to do anything if I was there.
It’s a mix of doubt, concern, guilt, fear… not a good mix at all. Hopefully, I’ll find some coping mechanisms so I can keep informed and yet not creep ever closer to heart-attack territory with each news story that makes my emotions go all over the place.
Be well, all. 105 more days to election. Register. Vote. Find the happiness and keep it going strong. I know I’m damned sure gonna try.