Why I’m not sitting here listening to “Time” from The Dark Side of the Moon album on repeat makes me wonder. When things are bombarding me right and left, for some reason, that’s the song I play the most.

Work has been insane. One co-worker got strep throat and couldn’t work one morning, so I went in before high-tailing it to my off-site tutoring job, and then a co-worker had a family member die and I had to take over another couple of shifts. I’m worn out, and wish I had more energy in me.

But more than that, hours are changing. In a lot of ways, it’s a good thing because it’ll make things easier for the students who come to us for help. I’ve wanted to stay open a bit later to get more kiddos in the door to help them out, especially the older ones who have to wait until their after school activities let out and want to do more than an hour at a time.

Unfortunately, this is going to mess a lot of plans up if I’m not careful. My Fridays have been mostly dependable as days where I can get out of work early enough to make it to music lessons. Now, if we’re open later (and I know I’m gonna be doing most Friday nights), then I can kiss those music lessons goodbye.

That means trying to find a day that will fit both teachers, or at worst, one for Friday night, one for Saturday late afternoon.

I’m determined to keep my Sundays off the table, even though that’s what I originally started out with. But those were also hour-long lessons.

I didn’t see the benefit of driving an hour for two half-hour sessions and an hour back home. Two hours would make more sense… but it sucked up so much of my Sunday. I want ONE day a week where I don’t have to go anywhere. I need a day to rest, recover, work outside in the good weather (or inside in the not-so-good) and do things like really clean off my couch cushions because my dogs love to lick the microfiber for some reason and it leaves telltale water spots behind.

Seriously, why do they do that? It’s not like there’s food there–I don’t eat on the couch.

Anyhoo, I want my Sundays for whatever-ish days. So, I have to maneuver the music lessons as best I can so I can just go right after work, which will shave a good 20 miles off my drive one way because I’m already out and about.

I’m a big believer in getting things done while you’re already out–no wasted trips.

So, that’s the music part that needs figuring.

With this change of schedule, my opportunities to volunteer (or get back into the swing of volunteering) may be drastically reduced.

I haven’t done volunteer work in many months, probably close to a year at this point. I just haven’t had the chance. Every time I’ve planned to visit the freshly renovated location (still haven’t been there, dammit) and do some training or listen to a lecture, somebody gets sick at work and I’m the chosen only one. I’ve missed out on months of new information, security briefings, docent procedures, etc.

I wrote to the volunteer leader last night about wanting to get involved again, but being so far behind it might be better to shadow the training classes to get my noggin on straight.

This morning, I wondered if I should say “strike that” and just resign entirely.

I mean, I can’t even make training sessions or the makeups. I can’t make kickboxing classes because I’m the chosen one called in when nobody else can make it (or twist my ankle at the worst times, or have to be at an off-site location and can’t possibly get there). Even my music classes are in trouble. Most of last month I had to do make-up sessions because I ended up working so late, and some of this month, too. But it’s not just lessons–I’ve barely given myself time to practice, which makes me feel ashamed that I am not doing as well as I should (and could do so much more) if I’d just have the chance to buckle down and practice.

It’s hard to practice when you have to get your sleep in, and then you get called in randomly. I expect that if I’m going to end up getting more evening shifts with this new change, I may well have more time to practice if it’s first thing in the morning, so that’s something to look forward to.

The other stuff is going to be much trickier to navigate.

Volunteering was good for me, and if I’m smart, I should figure out a way to get back to it. I just wish the location wasn’t so far. I love where I live in a lot of ways, except all the cultural stuff I like so much is always an hour away or more. That’s the trouble with where I live: got a small city/big town about 20 miles from me, but there’s nothing I’m interested in in it!

If I could find a volunteering opportunity closer to home, that might improve things a bit, or at least, give me something I can commit to far more. I hate to think about it too much, though, because I believe in the volunteering I’ve done, and it lets me teach kids of many different ages something valuable that I wish more people in general would think about.

For my privacy, I’m not being super specific, so apologies at how vague this sounds.

Tomorrow is the end of one off-site tutoring week, and music lessons afterwards. I’ll need to talk with my instructors to see what we can work out. One thing at a time: I get that figured out, the other bits of time management may well be easier to deal with.

Til then, I’m just gonna listen to the freaking song again (a live cut this time), because I have to. It just fits too damned well in my evening… and probably my whole week if I’m being honest with myself.