Impulse, Impatience & (perhaps) overly ambitious…

I’m stuck in this mental/physical limbo where I’m bursting to create while emulating Homer Simpson from the Treehouse of Horror sketch, “The Shinning,” when he repeated “No TV and no beer make homer go crazy.”

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I think it’s a desperate attempt to build my life. Roughly 16 months ago I had thought long and hard about wanting to play violin again. I ended up getting my acoustic guitar (which I still love, and is in storage, and because of my space constraints and crazy dogs, I can’t bring it out).

So, this week, desperately trying to leave the house, I went to my “candy store” and picked out my new violin…and brought it home.

Forehead, meet table.

On the other hand, it’s not hopeless or stupid in the sense that I just wasted a bunch of money on something I’m never gonna touch. I got a chance to try out and play with several, and found a really good one. What impressed me most was how I haven’t touched a violin since I was in 5th grade , but somehow I remembered how to hold the bow and coax nice sounds. I don’t quite remember the notes and fingerings, but the muscle memory really made me happy.

Maybe it’s the memory. I think 5th grade was the last time I was really happy as a kid.

It just hit me how true that was. Things were changing and crazy, but I had the most friends and did the best in school, had lots of achievements…then junior high and growing up came in.

But I’ve always wanted to re-learn. And I’m glad I bought it.

And now I’m thinking hard about a drum set.

And doing research, because now I’ll have an official music room when my new house gets finished.

But I feel it’s impulsive because even if I hightail it over to get that drum set (with a massive price reduction, which is the only reason I’m considering getting it today)…I’d have to put it in storage.

I can’t even work with it today. I barely have room to work with my Violin. Or my Clarinet.

I’m stuck in the garage back room with my dogs because it won’t freaking stop raining. Though there’s hope because it was 90% today and so far (fingers crossed) it hasn’t done any raining.

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Wish I had less crap I had to get rid of so I could just create all over the walls…but the furry ones would just get in the way.

But I’m grappling with this desire to feel something, to create. I barely get to listen to music I want and have no TV and barely get to use the internet because I don’t want the dogs locked up all day so I restrict myself to an hour a pop in between work shifts.

But if I stay at home all day, in that garage and the mushy yard with nothing to do…I notice my impulsiveness goes way up, like it’s the best way to wake me up.

I went to my favorite music store yesterday because my next door neighbor had a birthday and her kid didn’t have sheet music for her new soprano sax (I wanted to get something). While there I got some more violin music, but contemplated getting a ukelele and/or drum set!

The ukelele packs were all sold out, and I’d rather learn more about them (can’t help it, I’d love the idea of playing bluegrass on ’em). The electronic drum set I was looking at was also being examined by a family, and they ended up getting it. I’m glad, because I had time to read up on it and the reviews aren’t so great. Now I’ve found online a set of acoustic drums that I wanna go look at in the store (which is nearly half the price), and I can ask a trillion questions about it.

I’m bursting with the desire to create, but also to furnish my house. I’m so damned tired of waiting, and also don’t wanna move everything on my own…hence buying it now.

But it’s time to be smart and ask a bunch of questions…and see if the box will fit in my car (that’ll be the biggest deal breaker today).

Music is all that makes me happy (other than the furry weirdos in my garage…and the giant spider I bought from the Halloween store that’s perched over my lawn mower).

I just wish it could speed up time and help me get crap done. My life’s been on hold too long. I guess this is an attempt to plan my dreams, because I want to learn.

12 thoughts on “Impulse, Impatience & (perhaps) overly ambitious…

  1. Little Miss Short Stuff says:

    You might want to look into electric drums first. They’re easier on the neighbors’ ears. lol. And they’re more compact than your standard 5 piece. I’d also make sure you have the dexterity before moving on to the set too. I know many a musician who just can’t get their hands and feet to do different things. If you have any questions, let me know! It’s been a few years since I’ve sat behind a set, but it’s still one of my loves 🙂

    XO Steph
    littlemissshortstuff.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • TheChattyIntrovert says:

      I ended up getting an acoustic drum set that day after all…and a bass guitar (head, meet wall). The bass drum’s 18″, not 22″, but that doesn’t bother me. I’ve got some sticks I’ve played with and had a neighbor let me play with his set a few times before they moved.

      Also, one of the best things about where I live is it’s not the suburbs. I’m out county and the houses are at least 100 feet apart next door and 200 feet across the street, so the noise won’t travel quite so far (whoo hoo!). Somehow I’d forgotten that I didn’t have to worry so much about noise out here with no roommates to bother (other than The Furry Ones and the bird, but that’s what doors are for).

      It’s gone straight into storage, but I’ve got my sticks to practice holding when I get bored.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Little Miss Short Stuff says:

        I highly recommend “Stick Control: For the Snare Drummer” for anyone learning drums. It covers the basics and is pretty standardly recommended by most drummers and percussionists I know. It should probably work well for you if you don’t have the whole kit set up. All you need is a practice pad 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • TheChattyIntrovert says:

          Nice–i got a practice pad…somewhere. I’ve been itching for some text that would help me use it and learn. The book it came with expects you to know everything, doesn’t even show you how to hold the sticks right! I’ll have to look this book up and get it next paycheck.

          Liked by 1 person

          • TheChattyIntrovert says:

            I promised myself I’d finish reading my “complete works” by the end of the year, but life intervened for several months (and keeps intervening). I’ll be dusting off the cover tonight and figuring out my study schedule to make that goal come true. I’m tired of not understanding Shakespearean references in classic novels I read, and promised myself I wouldn’t watch the BBC “The Hollow Crown” series 1 and 2 until I’d finished…can’t wait to see Hiddleston and Cumberbatch and most of my fave Brit actors performing the hell out of Shakespeare on screen.

            But, I promise myself to read before I “see the movie/series,” so here I go.

            Liked by 1 person

    • TheChattyIntrovert says:

      Thanks for the offer–I haven’t decided where to go or what to do. I was hoping to have my kitchen ready to go and make something for me and The Hairy Ones. Well, I might just get the dogs in the car (cabin fever) and we’ll just drive around and see things, maybe go to some parks and play. No decisions yet–too many standing offers right now and phone calls to maybe make to family (trying to get my courage up to talk to them again).

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rae Longest says:

        Oh yeah, Hon. If you end up near Alvin, call or text 713-882-7435 and we’ll feed you and the dogs. You don’t have to come for a sit down meal or anything! Go ahead and suck it up and make the family calls. Thanksgiving they will be in a receptive mood to talk to you. However, don’t accept any invitations to Thanksgiving dinner that might or could turn awkward. No need for YOU to go through that! Praying, as always… Rae

        Liked by 1 person

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