You know things are bad with your days, weeks, months, etc. when you can’t seem to get it together. More than that, when it’s about food, it makes it feel that much worse.
I’ve literally eaten out so often and so much that I don’t even want to eat anymore.
Call it falling off the wagon, then getting backed over by it a few times to make sure I’m really plastered to the mud. Lots and lots of bad decisions let this happen, regarding my food and my stresses.
I never knew it was really possible to get to the point where you just don’t want to eat. You know you have to for your body’s functioning, but it’s a very odd phenomena for me. I’m what you call an emotional eater for the most part, a “boredom eater.”
And heaven knows I’ve been bored. Lost track of the amount of “procrastination” rounds of pinball I’ve played on my computer while letting my brain try to sort things out and get myself moving.
But then this came along: I am an emotional eater that’s reached the point where food makes her feel sick. Even at my most bored, food is the last thing I want.
I think we’re all truly creatures of chemicals, the ones that work with hormones and body composition, mostly. Mine are telling me that if another piece of fried food gets in this gut, it’s going to make me sick.
That’s been me for a week.
And then I look around my house and really have little to nothing that could be considered healthy (or if it is, it’s got more sugar than I’d be comfortable ingesting). In my desire not to smell the house up with too much cooking that my dad can’t eat, eating out has done me very little good.
Well, good eating habits start with lists, with goals. I know I can get some salads when out at certain places (and they won’t cost an arm and a leg), and I can get the kits at a few stores around here, just a couple at a time to make sure I actually eat them and they don’t go bad first.
I’m bad at letting them sit there and go to waste.
About the only thing I can tolerate these days without repercussions are Progresso soups. My stash is running out fast, so I suppose this is a good time to experiment with cleaner eating. Have soup and a salad for dinner. Reasonable, not expensive, and I won’t overindulge…or have to worry about sugar.
Heavens, how could I forget all the ways stress works on me when it’s been going on for so long?! Persistent headaches are just a small facet, so’s insomnia, being quick to anger or annoyance, facial tenseness…my appetite I totally forgot about.
A quick dose of research says something simple: de-stress. Take the time to unwind and then load up on good fruits and veggies, and protein in the next several days. Start off with more vitamins and such while continuing to de-stress.
I suppose that’s what my pinball playing has been about in a deeper sense–I just needed to focus on something else for a little while, not all the things I’m falling behind and need to work on.
I’ve got some major de-stressing goals to work on this week. Time to practice some deep breathing and acknowledging that I am not a superwoman and need to sleep and eat something PROPER, even if it feels like the world is going crazy on me and I’ve lost my footing.
And write it all out in my journal so it stops messing up my head…definitely more of that.
Be well, peoples, and remember to de-stress yourselves. Summer’s around the corner, and that has it’s own stresses!