This one hit me when I was dozing in and out this morning. I guess I need to look at a map by flat earthers to get the idea–but I’m seeing several different ones at a glance as it is.

You know, there’s something odd about this flat-earth thing, namely that it exists in the first place. The common story is that Chistopher Columbus did his little boat trip because he wanted to prove the world was round. But the Spanish already knew the world was round–they just didn’t know how big it was and that he’d end up hitting a whole ‘nother land mass if he went the opposite direction.

There was such a thing as a globe in 1492–it was just incomplete or grossly inaccurate.

Still, I want to know what flat-earthers have to say about the northern and southern hemispheres and their sinks. Draining water, whirlpools, cyclones, (with rare exceptions brought about by wind forces and currents) circulate clockwise in the northern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the southern. I liked the whole “American toilet” thing in The Simpsons, I admit, but let’s face it–you know when you watch the darn thing go, there are jets of water propelling the water in a certain direction, creating the swirl.

Anyway, the creation of water and wind patterns in alternating bands between the poles and equator makes the weather do all kinds of crazy fun stuff.

Anyhoo, many of these “flat earth” maps (and I’m sure most aren’t exactly made by flat-earthers that I’ve seen) don’t seem to bring up the poles in one place. One can argue one’s at the top of the flat earth and one at the bottom, but most of these have the north pole as the central point. Where is the south pole/Antarctica? I don’t think I’ve seen it much in these flat maps I keep browsing.

But more than that–air travel. If the North Pole is supposed to be the central point, then how come planes don’t get from A-B quicker by going right over it? Seems it’d save a lot of time, energy, effort to just shoot over the pole instead of around in circles if you’re going from L.A. to London. Probably much faster. They could coordinate between flights, why go over the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans for thousands of miles if you don’t have to?

I had a boss that lived here in Houston and had to go east to visit family in India–lots of connections and points around. The whole thing took about 19 hours with connections and all. Then when he came home, India to L.A. to Texas again. West to east that time. Safe to say, he CIRCUMNAVIGATED the globe, not magically appeared on the other side of the Super Mario map because it was a new level. With new routes that popped up in the decades since, I’m sure the connections and trips are faster.

Oh wait, it’s a circular map, which makes it more bizarre because it would’ve been a lot shorter trip just going up and over the North Pole, right?

Sigh.

I only bring up this question because it hurts how seriously the flat earth thing has gotten in that it’s getting as much attention as creationism used to. What the hell? I thought moon-landing denial was bad enough, but now this?

I’ don’t really condone violence, but I admit I can watch that moment where Buzz Aldrin punched that moon-landing denier all day…sigh.

I thought it was a bad joke when I first heard it as a kid. But now…sheesh.

Anybody got anything? I’ve got confirmations and refutations out the wazoo that I can’t make heads or tails of…and at this point I equate going to a flat-earth society page and browsing as intellectually gangrenous as skimming through a KKK one.