I’m not foolish enough to think the stalking is over, even if he’s gone.

(4/12/17 Edit: I woke up this morning and realized my title–using the word “pseudo-stalking”–shows I’m still trying to rationalize his behavior in some way. I need to call it what it was–unwanted attention and stalking–hence the change.)

I’ve had surprises out the wazoo this weekend. The first thing was working two nights in a row without a cancellation (finally!) And the second thing is learning that the “clueless suitor” is gone from my workplace.

First, I heard he’d given his two weeks notice a few days ago, then I heard it was a resignation effective immediately. Then I learned that it was a choice between resignation or outright firing. Yikes.

Considering the events of early January and late February, I’m a little surprised that this happened, now that we’re into April. I mean, I got notice that the harassment case was done before the February phone call. I guess what they found on that computer re-opened the investigation.

I was doing my best not to ask about him and what he’d been up to. For one, it might give the false impression that I was interested in him (and somebody’s big mouth would blab to him and tease him with it, and where would that get me?). For another, I would get creeped-out and wonder if he was around and remember all the shit that dug its way into my head. I was starting to get on edge when I’d open the break room door, because he might be in there behind it.

That hasn’t happened…and now it won’t.

However, I also heard there were some problems with his work lately (in vague terms, since I wasn’t asking for specifics). In one instance, at least, he’d made unauthorized structural changes that made maintenance chew him out good. I don’t know of anything else, but it makes me wonder if it was just the last straw and that’s why they fired him…or if they were already thinking about it before his work stupidity came into play.

I know I’m being incredibly vague, but I don’t know if there’s still ongoing investigations connected to this. I haven’t heard anything and don’t want to make things more complicated if there are.

And for all I know, despite my not telling anybody I know personally, he might know about this blog and is waiting to use what I say against me if I slander him with specifics.

He may not physically be able to be on the premises, but that doesn’t protect me in cyber-space. I’ve never been protected from him, considering the Facebook picture hoard he supposedly collected that prompted the February phone call.StockSnap_86KCSPS6NX

I’m not foolish enough to think this is the end of it, even now. I still don’t know how much he was keeping tabs on me when we didn’t speak for ten months, but apparently it was enough. How the hell do I protect myself other than removing my info from online as best I can? Of course, he’s had more than 2 years to accrue info, so it feels a bit like locking the door after the thieves have already made it out with all my furniture.

I still have to wonder how he got hold of that story I wrote–I’m so sure that I didn’t have it on the work computer, except maybe to print from my thumb drive. I sure as hell didn’t show it to him. All I know is I’m a bit freaked and wondering what the hell happened. What did I miss in my security?

Of course, I remembered this weekend that he’d told me once about owning his own computer business before it folded…I wonder how much he learned about messing with computers now.

I was always too trusting–hell, when he gave me his “admiration” letters, they’d be in an envelope thrown into my bag in the office. Who’s to say he didn’t rifle through it and find a thumb drive or two? My car keys were usually in there–who’s to say he didn’t go through my car when nobody was looking?

Aw, shit–now I’m scaring myself. It makes me wonder what’s coming around the corner. I’m annoyed that I missed self-defense the past two days (overslept and had to work tonight), and after this weekend, I really wanna get back to it.

Granted, that still won’t protect me in cyberland, but I’m doing what I can. I think it sucks more because I just can’t see it–I don’t get why he fixated on me, unless it was my babbling habit that made him think I was super into him and playing hard to get.Hammer Hitting Computer Showing Angry With Laptop

Maybe that was it, because I’m not trying to put my looks down, but I just don’t see what he was talking about when he’d call me beautiful (and creep me right the hell out because I told him to stop). It’s like he was seeing only what he wanted to when I blushed, or was annoyed…I don’t know. Maybe I was the only single woman in proximity that said “hello” since the job was his life and I was his best shot at a girlfriend.

Either way, it’s creepy because I remember hearing him tell me one day (during one of his “we oughta go out” sales pitches) that “I would never hurt you. I would sooner hurt myself than you or anyone.” (or some variation of that). Now, the hair started raising because him saying it once was baffling.

When he said the same general thing 4 times in about 2 minutes, I really got creeped out.

Seriously, why the hell did he feel the need to say that? It definitely did NOT make me feel any better.

And that’s when we were co-workers.

And this weekend, I found out he’s been fired. The timing is strange, but not if they re-opened the investigation and re-evaluated what was there, and what the patterns were telling them. Wish it’d tell me something, because I dunno where else he’s going to be working now, and in what field if he can’t find something in his specialty?

I wonder, deep down, how much he’s blaming me for his inability to understand I wanted him to back off and leave me alone. And I wonder how much he’s blaming me for losing his job.

And I’m wondering how much truth there is in an off-the-cuff remark I heard the other night that the guy was also a licensed gun dealer.

Yeah, definitely not foolish enough to think things are done.

I wonder if Sun Tzu had anything to say about this type of situation…I’m sure some CIA agents wrote about it. I think its called the “wilderness of mirrors.”

Well, dammit. I can’t laugh about it, and there’s no point in crying about it. I’m gonna have to buckle down and keep doing my best for me and my family…with a lot of self-education and advice.fears-701990_1280

5 thoughts on “I’m not foolish enough to think the stalking is over, even if he’s gone.

  1. Andrew says:

    Encryption is your best friend when it comes to cyber-space. I’ve since switched to hardware encrypted USB thumb drives and external hard drives. My laptop is also encrypted. It’s cumbersome at times, but worth it in the end. Sorry you’ve had to put up with that jack wagon for so long because you don’t deserve it; no one deserves it for that matter. Some people though are made worse when technology is involved.

    Liked by 1 person

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