Days of Whine and (Old) Roses

Okay, in my somewhat sleep-deprived mind, I thought this was punny. But it fits the past few days rather well. I haven’t posted in a while because life did that pesky intervening thing, and mostly in not so fun ways.

Wednesday is usually a good day for me, largely because I’m most often not working or if I am, it’s short and it’s late. And if I’m lucky, I can get a lot of work done.

Not so much the case this time. I cleared the decks on some nuisance work I had to do–some small writing exercises and notes compiling I finally finished after weeks of trying. It should’ve made me happy.

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Or a whole convo–yeah, story of my life right now.

You know those days when things’re just going along–not good and not bad, just going along–and then you get a phone call that changes your whole attitude toward the day? Yeah, that was my Wednesday.

I thought the harassment issue was over with (or maybe I read the letter wrong), until I got a call informing me that the investigators had found a server with lots of pictures of me taken from Facebook. There’s nothing risqué in them, but it was in MY server file (which I never used, except maybe once) and they were definitely not put there by me. Hell, they were pictures of me and some friends on girls-days out, and one of me as a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding.

Also in there was a story I’d written that I’m about 98% sure I did not put in the server, even if I just needed to print it to edit. That’s what thumb drives and e-mail are for. That way I can do what I need and get rid of it when I’m done.

That story being in there helps explains “the confrontation” a little, because I KNOW I never showed him that story and he was angry I’d written it (I wonder how he got it and where it came from). It was largely about him and his disregard of my wishes, after all, and I was writing it to rein in my emotions before I punched him in the face, job be damned.

I know I edited and wrote some of it during lunch breaks at work for maybe a week, and might’ve had to print it out to do an editing job, but saving it to the server? That would’ve been dumb, because I don’t think we had to sign in to get into our own folders. It made me wonder how much cyber-stalking he’d been doing, how, and how long

I’m 100% sure I didn’t put the pictures on there. Seriously, if they were on Facebook already, why would I download them to the work server to see them when I could get into Facebook easily? I rarely ever got on Facebook at work anyway, maybe once a month when somebody sent me something that needed a timely response and I had to read it over.

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My default internal response the rest of that day…

So, I was wavering between the extremes of baffled & anxious, and thoroughly pissed off. I couldn’t concentrate, and my writing time was shot. I just went to the gym and let out my aggression on a heavy bag until I could think a little better (since I couldn’t make it to the evening session after all).

I would’ve written about it sooner except my modem crapped out and I had to call tech support for a new one…but make the hazardous voyage myself to go collect. GAH!

So, I spent yesterday morning without internet to print directions from, and with a couple of people on tech support that couldn’t help me find the place. Well, I told them just gimme the store’s phone line so I could ask what landmarks to look for to help (I had the physical address, and know how to use the city block numbers to find where I’m going…which is only useful when ALL the street name signs HAVE the city block numbers on them, but I digress).

9I drove around til I found I was in the right block of this dozen mile road, which varies between grassy lots and strip malls or dense foliage hiding other businesses. It’s a pretty area, but a pain if you’re not used to navigating it without a map.

So, because I had to drive so far for my modem, and got lost a couple of times, I missed my morning kickboxing class (which I REALLY could’ve used). Then I had a few hours before work of “uninterrupted writing time” that were totally shot because I was out of focus and couldn’t concentrate.

I decided to remedy the day my own way. I threw up my hands, said “What the hell,” chugged the last of my (first and only) cup of coffee, and went to the movies to see John Wick: Chapter 2.

Hey, my emotions were all over the place and my brain was pudding–why not watch Keanu Reeves tear the world apart for a couple of hours?

It was cathartic. I’d gone back to anger and upset that my routine was in “suckville” and needed an overhaul; but for two hours I could forget all that and just enjoy the action. I thought it was a pretty fun action movie. After work I bought the first movie on DVD for dad to ease the sting of me seeing Chapter 2 before him (hee hee).

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I think I was feeling a lot like John Wick, torn between “what the hell?” & (pseudo-)murderous impulses. Yeah, this sums it up well–beat to hell, tired, & somebody’s gonna get it…once I’m armed.

I guess the day ended up okay, no more internal whining and a busy evening with my computer, re-setting everything that needed it. I really ended up checking the security on my machine, too. Ugh–sometimes I think we’re shooting ourselves in the foot. Common sense would dictate that if I’m worried about getting hacked, I shouldn’t be online. Yeah, you’d think that, but how much of our public lives is offline anymore these days? You can barely ever apply for a job without having to jump online now, which really sucks (I haven’t found a paper-friendly process in a long time).

I’ve had my two days of contemplating my bafflement and looking at that terrible bridesmaid’s picture of me holding a rose (never a big fan of red and I looked like a big blob of it that day–they were too big for us as I recall), some girls’ days out and high school photos my friends and I took. Ugh…photos are such a pain. Never was into selfies, even when I was young (hee-hee). It’s no wonder I rarely have updated pics of myself, and almost never on Facebook.

Yeah, I’m an inch away from getting off Facebook forever, but I’ll wait for word about how and why this scenario happened to begin with. Maybe there’s something I missed, but at least I didn’t put anything terribly recent or risqué on there—score one for sense!

And John Wick (#1) on repeat when I get home…yeah.

7 thoughts on “Days of Whine and (Old) Roses

  1. Andrew says:

    It’s ironic, I just signed back up for Facebook to create a page for my blog. I wanted to start promoting the pieces I’ve been doing for EatPrayVote, but that’s a topic for my Monday post on LB01. It’s a little creepy to know that pictures and files, that shouldn’t be on a server, are in fact on a server at work. I’m a freak with encryption at home and at work and no one likes me anymore because I force them to “log on” to a secure server to access files I share. All the trouble is worth it if at the end of the day I can tell some random FBI/CIA/NSA agent “No, you can’t have my 2048-bit encryption private key.” It’s the small victories in my daydreams that make it all worth it 😀

    Like

    • TheChattyIntrovert says:

      Ah…wish I was that savvy. Gotta settle for low key stuff and make a habit of logging out of EVERY site that I’m a part of and not saving passwords. That’ll be the hard part–so many different passwords I can’t keep them straight. On the other hand, i did want to try and improve my memory…what better motivation than that?

      Like

      • Andrew says:

        Just get LastPass and make the master password something totally ridiculous; like the first letter of every word in the “to be or not to be” stanza. Kinda nice to have an encrypted database that sits in your browser, mobile phone, laptop, etc. and has long random passwords that are different for every place you login, just gotta remember the master password.

        Like

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